Take Random Breaks

Take random breaks
Most people start sex play and then follow it right through to a conclusion (usually one person or everyone having an orgasm). This pattern relies on the expectation of where sex will go, and a conscious or unconscious map of how you get there. It’s like a short story with a beginning, middle, and end. But it’s like a story you’ve read a thousand times, so you know what happens just before it starts, you know the clues that it’s about to shift from beginning to middle, and middle to end, and of course you know how it’s going to end.

To try something different, for a week or two, agree that both you and the person you’re having sex with, will randomly stop sex in the middle of it for a short break. The break shouldn’t be so long that you lose your interest or momentum (so probably no more than a few minutes), but it should be long enough that you pull yourself out of the moment. Regardless of what’s going on, how hot and heavy it is, each of you should stop the sex at least twice during a single sexual encounter. Call a break, stop what you’re doing, and just be there together for a few minutes. You may just hold each other while you’re catching your breath, you may take this moment to talk about something, or you may lie there silent. You should stay together physically during the break even if you don’t talk. Don’t feel pressure to say something during the break, just pay attention to what you’re thinking, and what your body is feeling.

At some later point, when you’re not having sex, try to share with your partner what the breaks are like:

• Do they just feel stupid?
• Do you notice anything that you hadn’t before about what you were thinking or feeling?
• Do the breaks change the way the sex feels?
• What’s it like to not know when the other is going to call a break?

Remember that the point of this is simply to be disruptive and stretch out the possibilities of what sex can be. There isn’t a specific goal of changing your sex life in one way or another. It may seem a ridiculous thing to do (particularly if you’re at a really good part) but you can always make sure you end with a bang, even if it takes you longer to get there.

Have fun! For a start the room needs to be red to demonstrate your rebellious and passionate side. You also need to get kitted out with foam pillows, silk sheets and of course the eternal icon of seduction: a waterbed. Once you've got the room sorted it's just a matter of altering your behaviour to match the alluring environment you've created. Although your pyjamas may feel like the most comfortable option, they're not always the most flattering or alluring. Wearing a camisole is much more likely to get the attention you're looking for. Something you can both do is go to bed well after dinner. Going to bed straight after you've eaten isn't going to allow enough time to digest the food and is therefore less likely to put you in the mood for a steamy encounter. Sex
Red room
Foam pillow
Silk sheets
Waterbed
Sleep in the starfish position
Wear camisole
Go to sleep between 11-11.30pm
Movie before bed
Eat 4 hrs before bedtime
Left hand side of the bed
Sleep
Pink bedroom
Feather pillows
Satin sheets
Queen size bed
Sleep in the starfish position
Wear pyjamas
Sleep between 10.30am -11pm
Write in your diary
Eat 4.5 hours before bedtime
Right hand side of the bed